Mixed tape

Well today was interesting. I came across a lot of old CDs. So old and having bounced around over the last 15 years I doubt they play. But they are one of the only of concrete things that I own pre- fire. It reminds me of change. So much has changed, yet many things are steadfast. I am also listening to my music selection from my wedding which was very good and original, might I add. In 2007 I was graduating Beauty school, living it up with friends, falling in love with my now husband, and just learning how to balance life. Now 7 years later, I am still the stubborn girl I was but I'm a little harder. I am now facing a crossroad in life. Over the last two years I've been disabled by pain from degenerative back problems, which has been quoted the "mixed" blessing in itself. It has taught me how to let go. As much as our thoughts and actions affect and plant and water the seeds of our destiny, it's the faith of letting go that makes the deepest roots take. As many times as I've been brought to my knees, confused, been lucky, and very lost....I have never settled. And I have never pretended that what I do have is something that it's not. It is the most liberating feeling in the world. I trust in a greater existence to shape our path, even though I will continue to speak to my mountains and will speak of nothing but my belief in a big plan ahead of us. I have no agenda. Accept to pick up my mat, and walk. 

Head wrap

Lots of things happening this week. First my mom is moving in with us, which is already proving interesting.

Most importantly I'm getting my operation on Friday. I'm excited, nervous and totally freaked all in one. I have my pre op appointment on Tuesday...so my blog has fallen by the wayside these days. Anxiety fuels the pain and makes it worse so I just attempt Lamaze breathing to help, hahah. Ill be out for four to 6 months so I'm hoping its only 4 because if you know me I like to keep busy, have fun, and make people pretty! 

Tomorrow will be my last day cutting and coloring hair for a while, which in itself is surreal because I have never been without. Working in 12 years so its strange and foreign. 

It's exciting and sad, where I work is an awesome place not just full of talented people, but people that I also call friends. They have been a huge support to me and have watched me crumble, cry, complain, and change over the last few years. I love them all and will miss them, but I'm quite the zip n fighter so hopefully ill be "back" in action soon.

I also managed to find the most amazing foundation for my skin, from Napoleon. Their foundation stick is creme to powder, and eliminates the need for concealer and powder. And it works for all skin types, is waterproof, talc and paraben free and feels like you are barely wearing a thing. I do set it with a little translucent powder, but I needed something quick for when I have hospital visitors! All the meds and stress have caused quite the breakouts, but since I switched back to Cerave my skin is finally clearing up! 

 We were also graciously gifted with roundtrip tickets to New York to visit my husbands parents for the new year as a surprise, so I really have something to fuel my recovery besides the usual normal enjoyment s of lower extremities in your 20s.....ahem

So I hope I can keep y'all posted on this strange and different journey I am about to embark on, I have no doubt it's going to be quite a ride. It has already taught me so much. Lessons I hope I physically never have to learn again, but that I will take the strength, compassion and faith with me forever. 

Xo for tonight

The dandy fox